Let’s face it bad days happen. Boys dump us, our boss is a witch with a capital B, and our dog ran away… again. Man, even our dogs hate us. These days are unavoidable. No matter how hard we try to chipper up and put on our big girl pants, days of suckage abound slamming into us like a freight train now and again. Since there is nothing we can do to dodge this speeding bullet, the best we can do is deal with it. You’ve come to the right place because I have the perfect cure for your summer time life is awful boys suck blues.
Wallow… that’s right I want you to wallow and wallow so epically that they will consider making it an Olympic Sport. Now before you go all, I am woman hear me roar, hear me out. Because I might just convert you to a wallower by the end of this scheduled programming.
Here’s the scenario I want you to consider. You are driving home in a parking lot that once was the interstate, wishing beyond wishes that the jerk in front of you would stop riding his brakes. Then, ding ding, text message. You glance at it, it’s from your sweetie pie. Since your aren’t going anywhere anytime soon you decide to go ahead and read it (side note: don’t text and drive). “Hey Gurl, it’s been fun, but I don’t think this is working out. It’s not you it’s me. You’ll find a guy that deserves you.” Are you kidding? That’s right, you just got dumped via text in the middle of the highway…. heart broken.
Your friends are going to tell you to go out, forget him, he was a jerk anyway. That’s not an entirely bad idea, but what it does is mask that crappy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You feel like crap, he was a jerk, but you need time to feel all those crappy emotions. So ask the girls for a short raincheck and follow this game plan instead.
Go home and start by putting on the baggiest comfiest pjs or sweats you own. Order in mass quantities of takeout: Chinese, pizza, sushi, hot wings… really anything that will deliver to your location. Now plop your happy butt on the sofa or in bed and commence Operation Wallow. Fill your belly with junk of epic proportions. Ice cream, M&M’s, soft pretzels, nachos… whatever guilty pleasures you normally deprive yourself of so you can fit into your skinny jeans. Do this while watching heart wrenching chick flicks and romantic comedies. “If you’re a bird I’m a bird.” “You complete me.” “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love me.” Cry. Not a sniffle sniffle cry, but a full blown ugly faced cry. Heck watch yourself ugly cry in the mirror, we’ve all done it.
Then go to bed and sleep off your sugar hangover. When the sun comes up it’s a new day. No more tears over what’s his jerk. No more binge eating your feelings away. No more hiding in the darkness of your room watching Twilight for the 15th time. Get up, shower, put on something sassy. Do your makeup, spoil yourself with an awesome shade of butter lipstick by Nyx. Feel fabulous today, leaving all your negative juju in yesterday. Call your girlfriends and take them up on their dance party invitation.
When something craptastic happens we all deserve a wallow day to truly feel those junky feelings. Thus freeing us for a clean slate in the morning.
Today is a fresh step forward, no looking in the rearview mirror, today is to fabulous to miss even a moment of it.