Darn you little miss Excuseopotamus…
The Excuseopotamus is an elusive creature that scurries around our lives without detection. It is wrapped in a disguise of reasons and explanations, but when you strip away the hogwash you’re left with a monster beast of epic proportions. You see this tiny creature is actually a gargantuan, an ogre, a run as fast as you can to escape from it sort of thing. Don’t let the Excuseopotamus confuse you, it’s not your cuddly warm fuzzy friend, it’s an evil foe to be slayed like a fire breathing dragon.
My Excuseopotamus has got the best of me this year, that sneaky little she-devil. I was going to start “running” this year, I swear I was, (raises right hand) truly I had every intention of enjoying the fresh air and “running”. I really really was going to “run”, but…. it was too hot, cold, windy, sunny, rainy, earthy, sinusy… EXCUSEOPOTAMUS. Truth be told I chose to sit on my but and drink wine instead of “running”. What happened, I Excuseopotamused myself. It’s okay, I’ve figured out how this creature works.
This year I was going to focus on my writing. I really truly honestly for sure was. Then I became a sensitive artist and talked myself right out of writing. I can’t do it, I just can’t, sniffle, poor me. How can I ever compete with all of these other amazing authors. I suck, whine, whine… ooh wine, I love wine. I should drink wine instead of write. EXCUSEOPOTAMUS ATTACK…. run! Truth be told I made the choice to not write and spend hours watching Netflix. Yup poor me and 7 seasons of Buffy the Vampire Slayer (totally forgot Seth Green was in this, hello middle school crush that never left).
It’s a Tuesday like any other Tuesday except for one tiny fact. Today is the day that I package up my Excuseopotamus and ship it to the Arctic Circle. I send it with a one way ticket, holes punched in the box of course, and a pledge forget what that pesky little thing ever looked like. Today, rain is something to dance in, not something to hide from.
I want to encourage you to tell your Excuseopotamus to move on and ship it. You have an amazing life to live without the weight of a 1 million billion trillion ton beast. Honestly who wants to stand on a scale and see any extra weight. Free yourself and do your thing girl.