Positive Thinking, You Are What You Think

The other night I walked out onto my back desk to a thunder storm cloud that made my stomach do flip-flops, you see I really don’t like aggressive storms. Blame it on growing up in the midwest and hiding away below ground during to many tornadoes. I took a deep breath and really looked at this lumbering cloud overhead, I could embrace the fear or I could embrace the beauty. It really was beautiful with the setting sun lighting magnificent water colors through it. You see, this is a choice each of us are faced with every day. Is it the storm you focus on or the brilliant water color?

Life has a funny way of forcing us to look at each moment with either rose colored glasses or dark and stormy thunder clouds. What I feel we most often forget is, life is truly created by the choices we make. We are how we think. If you allow dark and stormy to rain on the parade of thoughts within you head, the world around you will have the same ongoing downpour. However, if you opt to imagine the world as a brilliant sparkling diamond, the world around you becomes a fantastic glimmer of light and warmth. The brilliant thing about light and dark, is that we all posses the choice. The choice to decide on the world we live in.

Truth be told no matter how much you try, you will never be able to control anything outside of yourself. You can’t micromanage others into the perfect happy bubble. Just like you can’t live a life of dancing and laughter if you brain is consumed with negative thinking vomit. That’s exactly what negative and controlling thoughts are, vomit. Vile acidy tidbits of nothing that seep through our thoughts tarnishing the good and corroding everything into a giant melting pot of upheaval. If you take away nothing else from this blogvice remember this, negative breeds negative and positive breeds positive. You’ve heard the saying, you are what you eat, I say… you are exactly what you think.

The bad, goodness knows that negative thought fairy is all around. Your car gets a flat tire, you get laid-off, your niece spills fruit punch down your favorite sweater, or your ManFriend is watching ‘Revenge of the Nerds’ for the 1,928 time this week. The negative fairy dancing on your shoulder is going to tell you that your day is destroyed because of that stupid flat tire. She’s going to tell you that you’re an ultimate failure because your boss let you go and not the nitwit three cubicles down. She’ll say that children are the spawns of satan because not even dry-cleaning will knock out that juice stain. She might even get your annoyed to the point of picking a fight with your ManFriend for having the nerve to mellow out and watch the same movie AGAIN. In short…. Negative Nancy Fairy is a twit who starts drama, kick her little fairy butt to the curb.

Now Penelope the Positive  Thought Fairy is a sassy diva. She’s all smiles and flies around trying to catch your eye with her sparkle, so that you ignore that other fairy. Penelope the Positive Thought Fairy leaves a trail of warmth and sparkle in her wake. She sees the flat tire as an opportunity to push up those sleeves and take charge or as a great reason to see ManFriend again before the work day begins. Flat tire + One more good morning kiss = perfection. She’ll remind you that a layoff is a brilliant opportunity to stretch your legs and see what other adventures are out there for you. She helps you see your niece as beautiful and amazing. She’s not perfect… but your life is truly a better place with her in it. You can buy a new sweater, but little kiddos are priceless. She will show you that ManFriend treats you well and bless his heart he likes to watch the same thing over again, what a perfect time to curl up with him and recite your favorite parts. In short, Penelope the Positive Fairy is your BFF, hold onto this one, she’s a keeper.

The truth is negativity weighs us down. It invades our thoughts forcing us to live in the past or the future. By doing this we aren’t enjoying what is happening right before our eyes. Worry, negativity, doubt, fear… they are all simply distractions. Distractions that you can choose to ignore. Sure it may sound like a daunting task, but truth be told it is really an exiting adventure. A way for you to live your life like a dance party instead of like a never ending lecture.  The choice is yours, shall you dance or shall you sit in a lecture of worry?

You are the queen of your thoughts, you direct your attention… so choose to focus on the amazing. It is a beautiful day outside, the sun in shining and the sky is a spectacular shade of blue. Find the good, forget the bad. Remember, our world is created by our thoughts, and our thoughts dictate our actions. Everything around you has good within it, look for it. Fill your head with so much love and positivity that you walk on cloud 9 each and everyday. If you feel a negative though creep into your mind, quickly replace it with something brilliant. Would you rather worry yourself into frown lines or tone that butt by dancing and your abs by laughing? Replace no no thoughts, with anything warm and fuzzy. Tell yourself you are amazing, remind yourself of a kind act you completed, laugh because laughter feeds the soul. You are the author of your story, create words that inspire not only others, but yourself. Be your biggest inspiration… and that begins with finding the good and positive in even the most trying situations.

Create the world your heart desires.

Brooke

Fighting Battles For Others, Be Switzerland

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I’m a giver, a fixer, a what can I doer, and most of all I’m a wear my heart on my sleever. You er, get the point. For as long as I can remember friends have jokingly called me “Ma” do in large part for my desire to make sure everyone is okay. If you’re sad, let’s fix it. If you’re hurt I have a bandaid. If someone broke your heart, I have a shovel. Protecting people is what I’ve always done, it gives me purpose, but it can also give me a great deal of stress.

There comes a time as we grow up, 30 years old and still growing up here, that we have to step back and allow people to take care of themselves. We have to be Switzerland or marooned on an island without offering advice to the outside world. This was such a foreign concept to me, it felt like I was turning my back on those I care about. By protecting them I was helping them, I was showing them I cared right? Wrong. I ended up enabling them and taking their stress onto myself.

Over the past few weeks I’ve found myself knee deep in crap and in desperate need of mud books. I was in deep, so deep in fact my entire body felt it. My head hurt, my body ached, I was feeling overly anxious about everything. A dear friend of mine was suffering greatly in a situation just far enough out of reach she couldn’t fix it. I’ll spare you the gory details, but we’ll say it involves yucky boys and their yucky choices. In my desperation to dry her tears and mend her heart I chucked myself smack dab in the middle of Yuckville, population me. It was dumb.

What started out innocent enough ended up with me becoming the scape goat for a whole slew of problems that had not an iota to do with me. BUT, since I’d dove headfirst into the mud and the muck, I became an easy target. For the lack of having a more eloquent way to word it, the situation sucked, hard. The positive thing about it though, I had brought it upon myself thus had total control to fix it. And so I did, today, like right now.

I’ve become Switzerland. My job as a friend is to sit back, drink some Swiss Miss Coco (or a margaritas, whatever), and listen. That’s right listen,  just quietly take it all in. It’s exhausting riding in with the Calvary every time a war doctrine is signed by a pal of mine. I tend to walk away with far to many unnecessary battle wounds. So a girls got to do what a girls got to do. Look at me like you’re sounding board, a comfortable place to vent, and feel safe to cultivate a game plan. However, that’s where the drama llama train stops. I have no opinion and once the conversation is over I’m clicking the erase button. In fact I’m inventing a bigger erase button.

Why do we all need an erase button? Have you ever had a friend confide in you about an injustice in their life? You are so fired up about, for example what an idiot their hubby is, that you then vent for 6 months about it. Fred is such a jerk, how could he eat all the white chocolate covered pretzels when he knows they are Wilma’s favorite. Then when Wilma asked him to get more at the store he laughed at her. What? What a jerk… you get the idea. Now all your hubby or BF hears about it what a jerk Fred is instead of what a hunk he is for putting his dishes in the dishwasher. When you hit the erase button, you are still being an active listener, you just aren’t taking the drama llama home with you. Houses are for dogs and cats, not llamas.

Does anyone else take on the problems of those around them? How many drama llamas have you put out to pasture?

Brooke

The Final Straw

I’ve done this a million times, okay maybe not a million, but I’ve done it A LOT. Started a blog… quit. Set out to lose weight… quit. Said I wanted to make changes…. quit. Swore off Diet Coke…quit. I’m not exactly sure when it happened, but somewhere along the line I became a big ole quitter. When times get tough, I revert back to what’s easy peasy. This time… this time things have to be different.

I escaped from the city over the weekend and enjoyed 4 days tucked away by the lake. It was relaxing, it was allergy filled, it was… a large cosmic slap upside the head of reality. At the end of the day when I look in the mirror I’m just not happy with me. Inside and out I’m not the person I want to be.

Let’s start with the outside, since my little hambone was born I’ve carried around an extra 15 pounds. Truth is it’s not baby weight, my baby just turned 7. He didn’t force me to eat my weight in tacos. He didn’t drag me from the dinner table to partake in seconds. Oh no it’s not baby weight, it’s bad decisions weight. That weight hides not so well EVERYWHERE. My thighs are showing dimples, my arm keeps waving when I stop, and my once flat stomach has taken on a mind of it’s own.”Ruuuuuuunnnnn, the blob…. it’s coming.” The icing on the cake (mmmm cake) came this weekend while standing on the dock in a bikini waiting for Hambone to get in the chilly lake water. In short… he took FOREVER, leaving me exposed for the world to see in a bikini that wasn’t flattering since I bought it a long time ago. As I urged him to please hurry up and get in, it actually crossed my mind to toss his slow moving behind into the water. He was wearing a lifejacket so it would have been totally fine, right? With the logic being, the faster he gets in the faster I get in. That was it, the final straw… I can’t go another weekend feeling like that. I don’t want to crawl in my own skin anymore and I don’t want a ticked of 7 year old.

As for the inside, that’s a bit more complicated, but I’m sure it is for everyone. Bluntly put, I am a worry wart wrapped up in chicken little syndrome. I stress out A LOT, because that’s how I’ve always done it. Honestly, that’s the only explanation I have, I’ve always been a stressed. Stressed myself out so much in fact that I worried myself right into 5 years of panic attacks, but that’s another post all together. The point is I worry myself sick and that easily brings down those around me. When I worry and stress I pick at those closest me. I’m afraid to say that when I don’t know what to do, I bark out orders. I uh don’t know how to handle this so uh go clean your room. Not exactly the best way to enjoy life or to help others enjoy life. That’s what this is about, enjoying life and pushing away all the minor stressing and worrying. Contrary to popular belief the sky isn’t actually falling and even if it were that’s what we have Bruce Willis for.

So that brings me here, airing my dirty laundry for the world to see… making myself accountable. Today June 3, 2014 is day one of 365 days of changing who I am. Setting goals and achieving them, while enjoying the challenge. No  more quitting, no more wanting to shove a 7 year old in a lake and no more rough around the edges. It won’t be easy and it won’t happen overnight, but I want to do this for me. I want to feel good with who I am and how I make those around me feel.

Welcome to me…

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Brooke