You Might Be A Baseball Mom If…


Gabriel Baseball tagged

It’s that time of year again. The sun is shining, birds are chirping, and baseball diamonds are a buzz with crazed baseball moms. That’s right, tis the season for fabulous, ball bag toting, bling shirt wearing baseball moms. You think dance moms have the supportive sport mom thing in the bag, oh now… baseball moms can get down and dirty with the boys while sporting perfectly applied eyeliner. Baseball moms are truly a unique breed.

You Might Be A Baseball Mom If…

  • You shout actions in threes. “Go GO GOOO” … “Catch it, catch IT, CATCH IT” … “Run Run RUN”. Because a simple “run” wouldn’t do and saying it 4 times would be redundant.
  • You invest in a wheely cooler to make it easier to tote around every flavor of Gatorade incase your little one runs out, another kid runs out, or there is another baseball hydration inspired emergency. Gatorade that you refer to by color: red, blue, yellow, orange. Do they actually have flavors, what flavor is blue anyway?
  • You’ve spent hours bent over a table like a mad scientist getting bedazzler elbow from painstakingly gluing rhinestone onto tanks tops, t-shirts, and sweatshirts. Because “Hambones Mom” can only be properly represented in jewels and glitter.
  • You stop referring to other adults by their names. In fact you may not actually know the other parents names. Everyone has become, “Nick L.’s Mom” or “Will the short stops dad”.
  • You find yourself saying phrases like: “Way to get a piece of it.” “Michael stop playing with your cup.” and “Swing it like you mean it.”
  • You can tell anyone the score of your kiddos last ball game, how many runs they scored, or how fast they pitch. BUT… you have no idea who’s starring in the latest Blockbuster (Channing Tatums abs right?), can’t name the last time you read a book (does Casey at Bat count?), or blank when someone asks you when the last time you spent a weekend not at a tournament (When Santa came to town I think).
  • You’ve justified ballpark nachos as diet food. Nacho cheese is dairy and dairy is good for you right? I think I saw a commercial on TV that said that once.
  • You have no issue becoming the Hulk and chewing out, in epic fashion, the 15 year old umpire you watched get dropped off by his mom before the game. It doesn’t matter that he’s trying to earn money for college and that he’s just a kid, the kid needs to get glasses because Charlie was clearly safe on third.

Baseball moms love’em or fear’em, we come around every spring and we don’t go away until fall. Without us, little league wouldn’t be so fabulous or feisty.

Brooke

 

The Cure for any Breakup, Layoff, or Bad Day

Let’s face it bad days happen. Boys dump us, our boss is a witch with a capital B, and our dog ran away… again. Man, even our dogs hate us. These days are unavoidable. No matter how hard we try to chipper up and put on our big girl pants, days of suckage abound slamming into us like a freight train now and again. Since there is nothing we can do to dodge this speeding bullet, the best we can do is deal with it. You’ve come to the right place because I have the perfect cure for your summer time life is awful boys suck blues.

Wallow Break Up Chick Flick

Wallow… that’s right I want you to wallow and wallow so epically that they will consider making it an Olympic Sport. Now before you go all, I am woman hear me roar, hear me out. Because I might just convert you to a wallower by the end of this scheduled programming.

Here’s the scenario I want you to consider. You are driving home in a parking lot that once was the interstate, wishing beyond wishes that the jerk in front of you would stop riding his brakes. Then, ding ding, text message. You glance at it, it’s from your sweetie pie. Since your aren’t going anywhere anytime soon you decide to go ahead and read it (side note: don’t text and drive). “Hey Gurl, it’s been fun, but I don’t think this is working out. It’s not you it’s me. You’ll find a guy that deserves you.” Are you kidding? That’s right, you just got dumped via text in the middle of the highway…. heart broken.

Your friends are going to tell you to go out, forget him, he was a jerk anyway. That’s not an entirely bad idea, but what it does is mask that crappy feeling in the pit of your stomach. You feel like crap, he was a jerk, but you need time to feel all those crappy emotions. So ask the girls for a short raincheck and follow this game plan instead.

Go home and start by putting on the baggiest comfiest pjs or sweats you own. Order in mass quantities of takeout: Chinese, pizza, sushi, hot wings… really anything that will deliver to your location. Now plop your happy butt on the sofa or in bed and commence Operation Wallow. Fill your belly with junk of epic proportions. Ice cream, M&M’s, soft pretzels, nachos… whatever guilty pleasures you normally deprive yourself of so you can fit into your skinny jeans. Do this while watching heart wrenching chick flicks and romantic comedies. “If you’re a bird I’m a bird.” “You complete me.” “I’m just a girl standing in front of a boy asking him to love me.” Cry. Not a sniffle sniffle cry, but a full blown ugly faced cry. Heck watch yourself ugly cry in the mirror, we’ve all done it.

Then go to bed and sleep off your sugar hangover. When the sun comes up it’s a new day. No more tears over what’s his jerk. No more binge eating your feelings away. No more hiding in the darkness of your room watching Twilight for the 15th time. Get up, shower, put on something sassy. Do your makeup, spoil yourself with an awesome shade of butter lipstick by Nyx. Feel fabulous today, leaving all your negative juju in yesterday. Call your girlfriends and take them up on their dance party invitation.

When something craptastic happens we all deserve a wallow day to truly feel those junky feelings. Thus freeing us for a clean slate in the morning.

Today is a fresh step forward, no looking in the rearview mirror, today is to fabulous to miss even a moment of it.

 

Brooke

Signs You May Be A Control-A-Holic

Control copy

 

I would like to come clean right here and now, I am a recovering control-a-holic. I’m not proud of it, but I have spent the better part of my nearly 30 years as a micromanaging control freak.

Hey you, yes you the one in the shirt reading this post, don’t read it while holding your head like that. You’ll stress your neck bone and get a migraine and not get your stuff done and have to take yucky medicine and and and…..(controlling hyperventilation starting now…)

Often times my controlling dictations began as what I ignorantly called, helpful suggestions. However, if my suggestion went ignored I pushed a little, then a little bit harder, until finally my frustrated head was spinning around spewing green goo. At it’s worst festering point everything I said was one of those unwanted forceful “helpful” (inset major air quotes) suggestions. Imagine my surprise when my family and friends got more than a little sick of it all.

Duh, I know right.

10 Signs You Might Be A Control-a-Holic

1. No one can accomplish any task without you adding your 2 cents, but of course you know exactly how to install a circuit breaker control panel… you saw it on YouTube once.

2. Your children can’t function without you directing them precisely what to do… freedom of thought, what, when did that start? “Mom what do you want me to do?” “Okay, what do you want me to do now?” “And now, now what do you want me to do?”

3. Your husband/boyfriend/manfriend, cringes when you use the word “suggestion” “thought” or the phrase “can I say something?” How could the possibly think they no how to do anything better? You’re only trying to help them get the job done quicker, better, smarter, etc etc.

4. When your gal pal asks for relationship advice you dictate a 25 page monologue, insisting she take notes. Then you email, text, Facebook, Tweet, and smoke signal her hourly to make sure she is following the “Relationship Rules” you outlined for her.

5. You’ve booted Father Time and taken control of all that is scheduling.  4pm- snack time, 4:25pm potty break, 5:00pm movie time (your choice of course), 6pm dinner (you don’t care what it is as long as it’s exactly what you want), 7pm-dinner clean up (plates facing to the left in the dishwasher and the glasses at a perfect diagonal)…..What time is breathing scheduled?

6. If someone helps you out by completing chores/tasks, you follow behind and redo it to your specifications. Heck no we don’t fold socks in this house, by gosh we roll them. “So you’ll roll’em and you’ll like it mister.”

7. People tense when you are around, it’s of course because they respect you. Not so much, that tense up, stand a  tension, is called fear not respect. People tense and walk on egg shells because they don’t want to hear the fallout from displeasing you by drying their hands on the wrong towel.

8. You are quick to point out others mistakes and turn a blind eye to yours. You told them not to frost the holiday cookies like that and now look what happened. See the house exploded because they mopped vertically instead of horizontally, you told them so. Billy cheated, well you told her he was a loser, but did she listen to you, noooo. Sure enough everyone’s lives would be so much easier if they just listened to you in the first place.

9. You wear the sexy panties, therefore you decide when the sheets get some playtime. Your man is left groveling, begging, and getting shot down in the bedroom. Those who wear the panties dictate sexy sexy time, leaving frustrated unhappy men in their wake.

10. You’ve made a store clerk cry.  How dare he think cans and boxes can go in the same bag. It’s not that hard she should know of every single item in the big box store that is one sale. The nerve. Suddenly you see red and all basic kindness goes right out the window, but they should have known better. ( I actually watched this on go down today over a Rainbow Loom, the poor cashier was in tears.)

Bonus: You talk things to death, because if you say it a 12th time in the 4th different way they will really understand. A topic that should take 2 min, “Hey sweetie can you please shut the fridge door when your done.” Turns into, “Lauren what did I tell you, when you leave the fridge door open after getting your juice box the electricity bill goes up and you kill the earth. Do you want to be a murderer little Lauren. Because if you….” (Keep on talking because they aren’t listening.)

If any or all of these sound like you, take a deep breath, we can get through this. Check in next week as I share great ways to tackle the control-o-holic monster. You too can decrease the stress of control and ease the tension of those around you. It’s never to late to turn over a new leaf and enjoy each and every day to the fullest. After all, today is here and now, get out there and live it.

 

Brooke

Have a Trav Sort of Day, Be Kind

Travs smile

I was going to write about lipstick today, pink lipstick in fact, but then I took a shopping adventure. Radio was blaring, I wish I could say the windows were down, but it’s been a typhoon for the past 24 hours. The rain did not deter me from singing, loudly and off key, to every song on the radio. Then Kenny Chesney “I Go Back” came on and my singing abruptly stopped. You see, people lovingly call me an audiophile, I relate a great deal to music. This song has a line, ” And I go back to the loss of a real good friend. And the sixteen summers I shared with him. Now “Only The Good Die Young” stops me in my tracks. Every time I hear that song.” I mumbled the lyrics, fighting back tears, with a gigantic  smile on my face.

That smile is always on my face when Trav crosses my mind, even if from time to time tears accompany the smile. That goofy grinning guy above, sorry for the picture it’s a print circa 2001, is my best friend. My strength and laughter for countless days of my life. We lost him suddenly in 2003, but this isn’t about his death… it’s about how he lived.

And he lived a selfless amazing life.

If you needed something you could count on Trav to be the first one there. He smiled with laughter that filled an entire room. I didn’t realize until I got a few years under my belt that he’d spent the better part of our friendship protecting me. I never asked him to, I was as proud at 10 as I am now at 30, but he knew that my world could be a pretty scary place even if I couldn’t admit it. His heart was so very gentle and kind. In short he was my gentle lion. Quiet and reserved, but would attack to protect those he cared for.

He lived his life embodying the word, kindness.

Some days I forget to live my life with that same kindness. I honk angrily at the car in front of me who crawls 10 miles under the speed limit in the fast lane, side note please don’t ever drive under the speed limit in the passing lane. Life gets the better of me and I snap at my little kiddo when we are running late. Instead of going to bed I stay up watching Netflix until 4 am, so 7 am I’m grumptastic to say the least. I simply forget to be happy and make a world of selfless action around me. It’s so easy to go through your day tired and crabby or rushed and irritated. What I want to do is encourage you to take a breath and release the negative juju before it impacts the world you are creating.

The only guarantee in life is change, everything at some point in time will change. We can’t avoid change or force time to stand still, but we can remember to roll with the punches. When the world gets you down, laugh at it. There is humor all around us if we can simply turn off the negative thought record player in our heads. Focus on the good, embrace the awesome, and trust that the rest of the stuff will work itself out. Practice random acts of kindness, do something special for those who mean the most to you, and don’t forget to take care of yourself too.

What Trav taught me is to love life, love others, and love myself. It’s really hard to be a big ole jerk face when you’re smiling and embracing kindness.

When you’re out there today, think before you speak or act. Have a Trav sort of day.

Brooke

(Closing with one of Trav’s favorite groups)